Show, Don’t Tell

Published July 18, 2012 by Elsa Pla

Today’s challenge is to show a character’s feelings without mentioning the emotion the character is experiencing.

My attempt:

Ellen closed her eyes after reading the telegram. James was dead. He would not come back to her like he promised. She would never see him or touch him again. She felt her mind collapsing into the familiar black abyss. It swallowed her up mercilessly and sent her falling, falling into its cold darkness. Her heart uttered a silent scream of recognition. She knew that from that moment on, that bottomless, soundless hole would be her dwelling place. This time there would be no escape. She opened her eyes and, trembling like a captured bird, handed the crumpled yellow paper to the gray man standing in front of her.

Okay, that was depressing. Want to give it a try?

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